You shall not commit adultery.
What does this mean?
We should fear and love God that we lead a pure and decent life in words and actions, and that husband and wife love and honor each other.
God, who loves you, has given you a spouse; or maybe he has not. In either case, it is because he loves you. In this commandment, he wants you to appreciate, love, and honor what he has given. There are many applications for the married and the unmarried people, but today my thoughts are on those who are married.
In your marriage, love and respect your spouse. God has given you that person, together with his or her faults. Your husband is the only man God has given you to love and care for you. Your wife is the only woman God has given you to enthrall you with her beauty, love and support. She is the only object of your affection, and she is a gift of God. As a wife, your husband is always the object of your respect and admiration, because this is God’s purpose for you.
That doesn’t describe you and your marriage, but it should. It does describe Christ, though, who loved us and gave his own perfect life to God on our behalf. Christ was not married, but his perfect loving relationship with us is ideal which husbands and wives are to follow.
Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:22-28, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
What I am about to describe is the perfect marriage. It doesn’t describe your marriage, but it gives you something to strive for. Work on the part that belongs to you. You can’t change your husband, but you can work on your respect for him and honor his God-given authority. Men, you might not be able to make your wives more lovable, but Christ loved the unlovable. We are to do the same.
Beginning with husbands, we are to model Christ’s love for us. He gave himself, even his own life, so that we would be holy and blameless in him. Show your wife what that looks like as you give up yourself for her. Give up every selfish interest for her. Give up your pride– when she says something hurtful, respond in patience. Tell her that she is perfect and beautiful in your eyes, just like Christ has done for you.
Now wives submit to your husbands. It isn’t enough to love them. Respect and honor them, because it is God’s will for you. You are the model of Christian submission–which is something that we all are supposed to do. We all submit to Christ, who has loved us above all. Honor your husband, and respect his authority, because he loves and cares for you, and because he puts your interests above his own. He is an extension of Christ to you.
In this sinful world, both husbands and wives will take advantage of the situation. Wives will take advantage of their husband’s self-sacrificing good will, and demand to have their way. Husbands will take advantage of a wife’s humble submission, and become a loveless tyrant. Each of you should take God’s command to heart, do your part, and entrust yourself to God. He sees the injustice, and he is pleased with your obedience. Wouldn’t it be all the more profound if you obey God in spite of your spouse’s faults?
Heavenly Father, fill us with the love of your Son, that we may be full of love for each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
One Lutheran Voice 